So a friend of mine emailed me this snippet that she got from somewhere. I thought it was really funny because most of it are true!

"Listen, and LISTEN very well."

"Listen, and LISTEN very well."

DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT’S BOYFRIEND?
by: ARLENE LEGASPI

You think you have what it takes to be a flight attendant’s boyfriend? Here are FEW things you have to put through. And that’s why they say these jet setters are the Top 3 Most Spoiled Girlfriends in the World. If you’re in a relationship with one: man, we give it up to you…. And If you’re planning to have one:

Be prepared, Be very very… prepared.

1. Do Not expect her to drive the car. She’s most not likely to have a driving license, she’d say “Babe, I only have a passport.”

2. Familiarize yourself with SKYPE, YM’s. VoIPs. She worships those amazing discoveries.

3. DO treat her like a princess before she can treat you like her king. Get ready for statements like “Buy me food, or else Ill break up with you!”

4. DO NOT be surprised if she wants you to take several shots of vaccines: Hepa B, Hepa A, Meningitis, Yellow Fever etc. etc.

5. Stay away when her roster comes out. That’s the next worse time to PMS.

6. BE grateful of her smile. You get it for free. IN the skies, it’s worth 6 digits.

7. BE READY to see yourself 5 to 10 years from now. She wants a man who knows his direction.

8. DO give importance to time, preferably Military time. 21:16 is NEVER the same as 21:17

9. DO NOT wake her up when she’s sleeping, even if you wonder “ she must be hungry after sleeping 18 hours already!” Again, LET her wake up by herself.

10. DO NOT mess with how she arranges her suitcase. Boots are for Boots sack, shampoos are for toilettries, undies are for undies bag and so on.

11. DO NOT expect her to remember names of your friends in one sitting.

12. DO NOT accuse her of bragging when she says she went to Paris for Coffee or just hit the gym in Berlin. She’s just plainly, innocently telling you a story.

13. Do not get intimidated by the beautiful men around him, chances are she’s already used to/sick of seeing hotness in form. Those men have lost their beauty.

14. DO NOT call her on the phone when she’s on Standby. DO NOT… ever.

15. Do NOT question why Half of the dresses in her closet has never been worn, and she still complains, she doesn’t have anymore.

16. Do Not remove any clothes you think is too much in his suitcase, remember: she has four sets of outfit in her suitcase: Spring, Summer, Autumn and Fall.

17. She expects you to learn how to read an Aviator watch.

18. And when she gives you that expensive Aviator watch, Do not Ask her: “ what time is it there in Khartoum?”

19. The next best gift to a Limited Louis Vuitton bag is a fancy Dual Time Watch.

20. She carries a First Aid Kit with her and 26 kinds of Supplements: Vit C,E,A,B, anti-Oxidants, Gingko Biloba, Evening Primrose Oil, Horseradish Capsules, etc. etc. even those Pills (damn-those!) you request her to take everyday!

21. At least buy McDonalds before your holiday flight, she prefers it over aircraft food, and yes even over the caviars in first class cabin.

22. Understand that discovering a designer dress on the clearance rack can be considered a peak life experience.

23. Make sure of the inaccuracy of your bathroom scale.

24. Remind her which country she is in first thing when she wakes up in the morning

25. During dinner, when she asks you whether you like chicken or beef… Oboohooy! you better think fast!

26. Begin to be scared when you oversee a long line in Immigration, she has zero tolerance on airport queues.

27. Work your muscle for a trip together, you’ll be carrying at least four baggages for her. A Gucci make-up bag, a Paul Smith, a World Traveller Trolley, and a Burberry Laptop bag at least for a Domestic Flight.

28. A bouquet of flowers is THE if not, THE ONLY way to say “I missed you” when you pick her up at the airport.

29. Prepare yourself for her jetlag, otherwise known as the PFS or the POST Flight Syndrome. You should be awake when she is and asleep when she is . You don’t want to see a whole 72 hours of tantrums.

30. And lastly, it might seem like she thinks she is overqualified for love. But DO remember that in reality, she feels like she is just an ordinary girl standing in front of a boy, asking him…

For a foot rub… after a damn…long flight. ☺

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